One thing that friend groups cannot prevent is misunderstandings between two or more friends within the barkada. When this happens, the automatic thing a friend would do is use humor to ease the tension or stay quiet to allow each one to process their feelings individually. While these two can be very effective, there are 7 more strategies you can use to help when friends are mad at each other without you overstepping their boundaries.
1. Communicate With Both Parties
When addressing a misunderstanding within your barkada, it’s crucial to communicate directly with all parties involved. This ensures that everyone’s perspectives and feelings are heard and considered equally. Avoid excluding anyone or making assumptions based on hearsay.
By communicating with both friends separately, you give them a chance to share their side of the story without judgment. Note that you have to listen to both friends to prevent any more misunderstanding to occur.
2. Avoid Gossiping or Siding
Gossip can escalate misunderstandings and damage trust within the group. Siding with one party over another can create factions within the group, leading to feelings of exclusion and resentment.
Gossiping or taking sides can damage friendships as this breeds suspicion and fosters a toxic atmosphere of competition or betrayal. There is no need for the situation to spread outside of the immediate friend group as this can cause more harm when more people get involved.
3. Let Them Rant and Listen Actively
Allow each person involved in the misunderstanding to express their feelings fully. It’s essential to refrain from jumping in with immediate solutions or rebuttals, as this can invalidate the speaker’s emotions and escalate tensions. Listening actively helps to clarify misunderstandings and uncover underlying concerns or grievances that need addressing. It also shows that you value the speaker’s perspective and are genuinely interested in resolving the issue collaboratively
4. Give Them Time To Feel Their Emotions
Understand that emotions may run high during conflicts. Allow each person involved the time they need to process their feelings and thoughts before expecting resolution. Rushing someone to resolve their emotions prematurely can lead to misunderstandings being unresolved or re-emerging later. When given the time, it reduces any impulsive reactions or hurtful statements. By giving each person involved the time they need to feel their emotions, you acknowledge the validity of their feelings and demonstrate patience and compassion
5. Find A Common Ground
Identify areas where everyone involved in the misunderstanding can agree or find mutual understanding. This might include shared values, intentions, or feelings that everyone can acknowledge. By finding common ground, you create a basis for productive dialogue and collaboration, facilitating compromises and solutions that address the problem at hand effectively.
6. Maintain Confidentiality
Respect the privacy of those involved by keeping sensitive information shared during discussions confidential. Honor each person’s trust by refraining from disclosing what one friend shared during discussions to the other party involved in the misunderstanding. This is necessary because when their narrative goes out in the open, it can spark gossip or rumors and this can worsen the gap between the two friends.
7. When Both Friends Are Ready, Set Up A Get Together
Once emotions have settled and both parties are ready, facilitate a get-together with the whole barkada present. It is important to have someone from the friend group come with them in case emotions rise and conversations get heated up. Choose a neutral and comfortable setting where everyone feels safe to express themselves openly and honestly.
Taking breaks during tense moments is a practical thing to do so that it can allow emotions to settle and give each one an opportunity to converse with rational thinking. It also demonstrates respect for everyone’s feelings and promotes a more productive discussion when you reconvene. This approach can help maintain the harmony and positivity within your barkada, ensuring that misunderstandings are addressed constructively and with mutual understanding.
