Shet, 20 na ko!!!!! What am I doing with my life?!?!?! This is probably one of your nightmares when you realize that you are done being a teenager and actually entering adulthood. These years are your boundary line into the real world – jobs, bills, travel, and relationships.
With age comes great responsibilities, as well. But hey young fellow, you still have time to figure things out and enjoy your life. Do not close your mind in the notion that you should already set everything straight right at this very moment. Read on!
If you’re single, be proud of it.
There’s nothing wrong with being single at this time of your life. Maybe you just got out of a toxic relationship, you are not ready for a commitment, or you’re just waiting for the icing of your cupcake – it’s okay to enjoy the feeling of being unattached to anyone romantically.
Let this be the time to enrich your self-love and self-growth by doing things on your own – or with your family and friends. You are not alone, and you shouldn’t be lonely, even if you don’t have a special someone. Make yourself special and you won’t feel lacking – because you’re not!
A piece of advice from your mom or dad is sometimes necessary.
It is still undeniably true that the wisdom and experience that our parents have are incomparable to our own. We need their life advice especially when making major decisions that could either make or break us, or just simple things like which is a better outfit or better output of your work.
Those people who left out their parents on what has been happening in their lives may have their personal reasons, but if you don’t have any valid one, it is a wonderful feeling to have a healthy and close relationship with them. They are your major supporters, financers, and lovers in your life and you shouldn’t take them for granted just because you are capable to stand on your own two feet now.
Find a job you actually enjoy.
This is the time wherein you should settle for stability and consistency because you are striving to have a good future. Your job is a vital factor for this, and if you don’t have a job that you enjoy and love to do, you are just giving yourself a hard time. You will most probably not last for long – and if you do, it will be just stressful and draining.
As much as possible, target a job not just because it could sustain your financial needs but also your emotional needs. You have to feel happy and comfortable with what you’re doing for you to grow into a better individual and employee. In the case where you have no choice but to pursue a career you don’t even want, just do the best that you can and take it as an opportunity and challenge you can conquer.
You are not behind.
Just because you could see other people having the time of their life when you’re just lazing around in your bed doesn’t mean you are being left behind. Maybe they have a better status in the society in terms of popularity, clothes, body, etc., but that doesn’t make you any less worthy and capable.
Everyone has their own pace. Everyone has a different life story, struggles, and experiences. But the thing is everyone will move forward, have a beautiful life, and be successful depending on that person’s grit, motivation, and perseverance. Don’t pressure yourself too much when you see others being productive because you will and you can, too.
Drink and smoke responsibly.
Mainly because of the shits life throw at us, we tend to rely on our vices to somehow make us feel better. It’s normal to drink and smoke, guys. Those people who don’t and keep on shaming those who do are just too close-minded to understand. You just have to know your limits when doing it to avoid health problems in the future.
Yes, those who drink and smoke know that what they’re intaking is detrimental to their bodies, but allowing yourself to try something out for the sake of feeling good and forgetting life’s troubles is somehow inevitable. Just avoid being a heavy drinker or chain smoker, while you still can. You’re not a kid anymore, you should be responsible enough to know when you had enough of something.
You deserve a break.
Being an adult gives you head-aching moments, heart-wrenching choices, mind-breaking decisions – all in a continuous loop. It is truly exhausting, especially when you live in a fast-paced manner. It will feel like you don’t even have any more time to check yourself out in the mirror.
You deserve to watch that film you have waited for months. You deserve that shot of vodka for your pain and anxiety. You deserve that sleep you have been craving for after those all-nighters you had for your presentation. You should pat yourself on the back and give credit on how far you have survived in this life. Take it slow, tiger.
Keep your high standards, but be open-minded.
Never settle for less than you deserve and if people think that having high standards mean that you are too choosy then let them be. It’s okay to know what you like and set ideals on your mind on who you want to be with (this applies to a partner or a friends) but always be open for other possibilities.
Keep your standards firm but be open-minded to others who won’t fit them. You just have to learn how to get along with them and if you don’t really vibe, at least you’ve tried. You will always find a way to be with those who matter and will help you shine.
Stop chasing your happiness.
Happiness should come from within – not just because you have a new kalandian, or a new bestie. The feeling of fulfillment and serenity begins when you have accepted and embraced your entirety. When you are confident and contented, your heart will be filled with true joy.
Money could buy our happiness, temporary happiness. The material things we desire to have could be removed from us and we will crave for something else but when you follow your heart and continue to do things that delights your inner soul, that is long-lasting. You should aim for that feeling because it is the thing that will keep you going in this chaotic universe.
Appreciate the people in your life.
No man is an island and if you have friends who have been there for you through your highest and lowest points in life, you are lucky. These people are your precious gems. Alongside the support of your family, having that small circle of friends you can rely on with everything is a necessity.
Note that we said ‘small’ because by this age, you have been around all sorts of people – those who love you, caused you pain, left you, belittled you, confused you – every single one of them has affected you, positively and negatively. After going through that, you now know who are the real ones from the fake, and the real ones are the keepers!
You are still young.
You may be in the race of life and you may feel like your efforts are not enough to catch up with the others but that’s just your mind messing with you. You will have failures, experience rejections, and make a lot of mistakes but that is perfectly normal. These are what makes you stronger, resilient, and courageous in life.
You have all the time that you need to set your path straight. Try out new things, explore the craziest things you can think of, laugh contagiously, love fearlessly, and live your life to the fullest. You only live once, and you are only young once so better make the most out of it. Just learn how to balance the serious and fun side and everything will be okay. Aja!